And you shall take me strongly
In your arms again
And I will not remember
That I even felt the pain
We shall walk and talk
In gardens all misty wet, misty wet with rain
And I will never, never, never
Grow so old again
And I will raise my hand up
Into the night time sky
And count the the stars
That’s shining in your eye
- Seven years ago this song found its way into my heart and gave me one of the most intense nostalgic feelings I may have ever had. As I listened it began to tell me the stories of the beautiful lives I’d lived before this one. And it made me sad to listen because I knew I had yet to find beauty of that kind in this life of mine now.
- Three plus years ago I began writing on this blog. At the time, I was absolutely terrified to write about any part of my life. My fear of my own self was so dominating that I scarcely believed in the idea of happiness. And love, well as much as I’d like to say I believed in it at the time, truth is, I was struggling with that one too. And so these ideas became my theme; and with every sentence written, happiness seemed less of an illusion and love more of an absolute.
- Looking back I can see how much I’ve evolved; while some parts of me have softened, others have hardened by embracing reality. I’ve spoken my peace with the ghosts of the past, while managing to walk away with something lovely from each. I can honestly say, that hard as it was, I wouldn’t change a thing.
- My story hasn’t finished, I’m still just in the middle of it. But even so, I’ve found myself in a place where I feel much too selfish to share it. This was my place to say all the things I wanted, and now I don’t need it anymore. My fear no longer owns me, and my words can finally be spoken directly to the one worth hearing them. The one worth holding on to. The one who really sees, the world; and me.
- And so there I was several days ago, listing to music as I always, always do. When this song came back around into my life, filling my ears not with a forgotten story of a life left behind, but instead with the one I’m living now. And so there I stood in a sun drenched room, smiling and turning around in circles with my hands above my head; happy.