I wish I could write something beautiful. Something that could melt the heart and come by way of a smile. But in my world, all things lovely and worthy are cause for a reaction that pulls down at the center of the heart. My soul wasn’t meant for this era. I feel so lost and out of place. I’m the ghost of someone I used to be. Someone who could move in slow motion, throwing her hands up and dancing to be beat with tinted lashes, pinched cheeks and stained lips. And as she’d turn her head to look at you, she’d then throw it back and laugh much too loud for much too long. So many lifetimes, have I known you always? Everything is spinning; I see too clearly now. Nostalgia is our mourning, for we will never be able to return. And so down and down the music goes, coursing through my veins, my spine, my fingertips; draining all the color from my rosy cheeks, until I ever so slowly begin to yet again fade away. But here you are, existing, in this world now. That in itself is a smile in the corner my heart. A flicker from the life I once led, and the memory or the absolute of you looking at me now. It’s all I’ve ever needed or wanted, please never forget. Dance with me now, I’ll try if you try. Stepping in time together until we find a resembling rhythm that leads us to a picture of black and white. And a day that can once again make my sadness feel beautiful.